So im homeee nd i have a lil something to share

I just feel the need to let all this out.

Last night i had the most intense conversation with someone about our pasts nd how we both screwed up soo muchh during freshman year.

And i jus realized that even thoughh i have no regrets, i have one main thing that is about as close to a regret as you can go without actually regretting it...if that makes sense.

It was jus so intense because i was saying stuff that i havent told ANYONE. nd the entire time tears were streaming down my face. i wasnt crying but the tears were jus streaming down my face.

At one point i was so anxious i couldnt stop shaking nd i wanted to jus run out the door nd leave everything behind for a few hours.

Nd the funny thing is we were jus comparing things on how we got caught, how long, what we used nd stuff like that. [sorry for bein vague but i would rather not share exactly what was goin on.] I mean we weren't like giving each other tips because i think we're both over it, but we were jus talking about all that stuff nd jus having symthay for each other i guess you could say.

Even thoughh i had tears streaming down my face, that whole conversation made me feel so much better cause i finaly let EVERYTHING out.


I don't regret anything. But i could definatly do without somethings in my past.
[[which really wasnt too long ago. jus like 4 months ago till it was all over.]]

So i guess i have a tip for those of you reading this.
If you have a secret about your past, find someone you can completely trust that you thinkk can maybee relate somehow [[<-- i thinkk thats the most important cause they can actualy give you real imput not jus 'oh that sucks im sorry']] nd let everythingg out. youll feel alot better

im leaving

on vacation till august 1st:\

this is a lil rant

So I'm jus a lil fed up that my parents don't support me in anything; more specifically my wardrobe.

My parents thinkk that I should be some lil cookie cutter girl where the truth is I dress "out there" but really its not even that "out there" its jus mostly different. Honestly i wishh i could dress more out there without my parents being stupidd about it. Liike a couple days ago i wore a skirt over my jeans nd put a belt over it nd it looked really cute nd when i walked outside to walkk to my friends hosue my mom was talking to our neighbor nd she looks at me nd gives me a very subtle "look". nd that jus bugged me so muchh. I mean would she rather me dress provocatively?

I jus wishh my parents would support me in my taste. It would be so muchh easier to express myself. It's like they're trying to change me; which defiantly isn't happening.

believe

I believe every girl has a right to yell and scream and not get weird looks
I believe that every girl has a dream that has yet to be achieved
I believe no one is truly happy until they learn to love themselves
I believe miracles happen everyday in every way
I believe friends care more then therapists
I believe creativity is something everyone has, even if they haven't found it yet
I believe everyone's best quality is there individuality and that is something that shouldn't be thrown away
I believe you learn something from everyone, whether you like them or not
I believe photographs aren't beautiful unless you capture the soul
I believe everyone still has an inner child that is waiting to burst
I believe music saves people
I believe a whisper is beautiful
I believe words ruin certain moments
I believe judgment is the worst flaw in a person
I believe rain will wash away your feelings
I believe do you?

quotess

My hair is offcially dyed:]
jus thought i'd share that hehe.
im more in the mood for quotes so i thinkk im goin to do some of those.

You know how some peole
hear a song that makes
them jus wanna get up nd
dance?
But then they don't.
Well, im one of those people
who lets their body move
to the music

When you enter a certain stage in your life
you going to wonder
where everyone went
what happened to your life
and what could have prevented this from happening

[referring to life]
"Its all simple to sum up
live life
do good
be happy
don't let things get to you"
--bestfriiend/hero

Don't let things jus happen to you
react
be sad
be happy
be exxcited
be pissed off
but don't be numb
becuase then it would be liike you
never existed

Someone should sue Disney
for making every girl
believe one day there
prince charming will come

my mind came to a blank
hehehe

some people drive me crazy

Have you ever had that one friiend that jus drove you crazy?
they think they know exactly whats going on nd make assumptions about everyone nd everything, but since they dont take the time to actually ask the source of her assumptions shes really wrong, dead wrong?

those people jus annoy me soo much.


But anyways i've had a really good week:]
ive been in liike the best mood.
nd im dying my hair on thursday:D
jus needed to gett all that out haha

anyways its liike 20min to oneam so im gonna go to sleeep.
i gotta get upp for drivers ed ughhh

I am at a loss of words. bear with me haha

I'm not really sure what to talk about todayy. So i guess i'll jus babble about whatever pops into my head:]

...I am at a loss for words. hmm.

Ohokay how about how i started drivers ed yeshterday. Wellll ill update more on that later when we get more into itt haha.

Hmm. How bout how i hate when i thinkk of a really good idea nd then someone else takes it! ughh that reallllly annoys me! I've learned to keep my good ideas to myself until my idea takes place. I wish people would thinkk of there own ideas. ahh whatever.

Im done
i have to clean out my closet
haha what a pointless post.
blaah.
done.
bye.

summer:]

So last niight I was going through my school stuff and as I was looking through my old english journals and i found one where we were suppose to describe ourseleves in 25 words, no more, no less. so i have decided to share:]

I'm short, fun, and outgoing.I am addicted to energy drinks. I have brown hair. I love music, it keeps me sane.I AM ME.

I don't know, i liike it.
what do you thinkk? haha
__________________________________________________________

Oh and i have decided i wanted to be a photographer when i grow up.
so when i get pictures i took on my friends camera ill upload them here:]

wellll

I guess i'm getting more into the doing a real blog or whatever instead of doin quotes haha.

So todayy my friiend nd i were arguing about whether you should care about what other people thinkk of you because my friiend, lets call her MG, so mg is really into looks nd what others thinkk about her, she was obsessing so much i finally told her to shutup because she was really getting annoying. i quickly took it backk;]. anywaays she was liike well jacqi if you dont care about what other thinkk about you, why do you wear all that eyeliner and straighten your hair?

My response?

"I do those things because I liike to do them, if someone told me i looked terrible with colorful eyeliner nd straighted hair i would say whatever i dont care what you thinkk, i do these things for myself, NOT for attention. i don't care what others thinkk of me, i care about what I thinkk of myself."

makes sense riiight?

i mean come on, why spend soooo much tiime on your hair and makeup in the morning when its 'not you' or jus to impress someone. yeah okaay if you wanted to feel really special that day or something then go for it! but why bother getting someones attention with it? most of the time they won't notice nd if they do then most of the time they don't say anything.

So whats the poiint?

yeah you can feel confident nd sexy or whatever, but do it for YOURSELF not the needs of others.

Don't do what others tell you to do, if you dont want to then they should suckk it upp. they shouldn't pressure you to, say dye your hair blonde or something, cuase its the 'in' thingg to do. do it because YOU want to do it.

LETS MAKE A DEBATE:
gimmie comments on what you thinkk of this yo! whether you agree or disagree:]

so todaay

I decided to do an actual post instead of quotes.

So riight now im suppose to be doing my enligsh speech and its suppose to be on what i learned freshman year. I have just realized i havent really learned too much; ive made mistakes over and over again but i never learn from them because 2 weeks later ill turn around nd do that exxact same thing again.I know im different but i have friiends who love me because of it, but when it comes to what ive leared heres a list:

1.My friiends love me no matter what
2. If they don't then i lost them as friiends[refer to #1]
3. People will always judge you no matter what; you jus have to learn to push through and not care.
4. I care about my friiends more then myself, but i am a strong believer that you must learn to love yourself before you love others.
5. Im a commitaphobe
6. Finals aren't as bad as teachers make them seem
7. Even though i complain aboutt my family; they are infact okaaaay. i jus complain too much
8. im a complainer [refer to#7]
9.im a huuuuuge procrastinator [refer to ENTIRE post]
10. ive made so many friiends this year; but only a handful i trust completely; but i still hide the truth from them
11. No matter how much i thought i hated techno; everytime i hear it i want to get up and dance

So its an okaaay list riight? thats what i thought haha
Now heres the real question
how am i suppose to make a 3 min speech on that list by tommorw 5th period?

wish me luckk
oh and mkae a list of what you learned this year; it really helps to open yourself up and find outt the real kind of person you are

Don't let the little things get to you

Don't let the little things get to you
because in the end it will be the big things
that matter most

The worst thing about being lied to is..
knowing you weren't worth the truth

Is it possible to put full trust in one person?
Is it possible knowing you won't be judged
but scared you will be anyway?
Is it possible to love?

I don't live in the past
what can i change?
I don't look forward to the future
do i look physic to you?
I just live in the present
because i know exactly what I'm doing

Bravery is being the only one who afraid

"Don't let anyone ever let you think
you don't deserve what you want"
--10 Things I Hate About You--

If you learn to laugh at your troubles,
you will never run out of things to laugh at

Never betray your heart
for it is the one thing
that will never lie

If you don't take risks whats the point in living?

You're in highschool
get over yourself
and please, please
put on some decent clothes
because unless you're future job
is prostitution
no one wants to see that

To Do List:
--finish project[x]
--chores[x]
--call bestie[x]
--and grab the attention of that
cute new guy in class[ ]

People deal with stress in different ways
some exercise some
write poetry
others go to more extreme methods
whats important though is
finding yourself through these stressful times

i would lovee you for you to comment this:]

The truths lil about life

'Whoops?!'My insurance does NOT cover P.M.S!
~10 Things I Hate About You

When you open your mouth
be careful about what you say
you could be telling a lie
or baring your soul
either way your screwed

Go crazy
Go insanee
Don't care what others think
cause no one likes a boring girl

Crazy people see the world for what it really is
Then the world tries to brainwash you again
if it works you'll turn into a clone
if it doesnt...
well then try and convince others of your ways

I Don't give up
I Don't give in
I Don't do as I'm told
not because I'm 'BA'
but because at the end of the day
I DO what I want

When you give up on life
life gives up on you
So don't give up
because life has something in store for you

If you can't stop to think of all the lil things that make you happy
your obvious very busy with unimportant things
slow down
because everyday has at least 10 lil things that make you happy

No one should go to bed without a smile on there face

When you focus on the negative
you become a negative person
focus on the positive
it gets you through the day

A day shouldn't go by without:
a smile on your face
laughter in your eyes
and a best friend to share all those moments that could never be caught on camera

Quotes:]

*No guy is ever worth it
All you need are you girls
And you have a perfect life*

*Honey, if you expect to be treated like a princess
You better get your act straight...
And write your own fairy tale*

*Patterning yourself around others opinions
is nothing more than slavery*

*You ALWAYS get screwed over in the end
because nothing lasts forever
but hey if its all the same
was it really worth it?*

*When you put your heart on the line
Make sure there aren't any scissors around*

*Your not made of glass
So don't act so fragile*

*When you put everything on the table
What more can you lose?*

*Every time I see you
my stomach drops
my heart aches
and my brain tells me
He can never be yours
so why bother?*

*Parties, Drugs, Smoking, and Drinking
all that can do is distract you from the problems
that are flooding your brain*

*That secret smile
That spontaneous laugh
That sparkling eye
Its all because of you*

*Never take anything for granted
that’s what they say...
Well I thought I had learned my lesson

More later:]